剛入行的記者，都知道 Five Ws 的重要性：Who? What? When? Where? Why? 報導如果五缺一，可能導致讀者摸不著頭腦。但Five Ws 也可以斷定學生作文能否拿高分，措辭再優美，如果 Five Ws 不齊全，也可能沒法給考官留下好印象。
下面看圖作文的 First response 就缺 Five Ws。相反，Second response基本具備 Five Ws，所以質量比 First response 高幾個檔次。
First version
As children, Mary and Phillipa had a habit of visiting an old man in his mansion in the tranquil countryside. After he passed away, the house became a victim of neglect. One day, in a fit of nostalgia, the pair decided to drop by their old haunt again.
They regretted their decision the moment they caught sight of the house from afar; from now on, their fond memories of it would be forever sullied. It had not one window that was intact. There was even graffiti smeared near its entrance. But it was its interior that shook the women: much of fine furniture had been chopped up and burned as firewood, and creepy crawlies didn’t run into hiding in the presence of humans, since they had long believed they owned the place.
Saddened and repulsed in equal measure, the women left in a hurry, vowing never to return.
Second version
“Remember grandpa used to always place a vase of fresh roses by the left window on the second floor?”
Mary finally decided to be the one to break the unsettling silence. The last time we were here she was 8 and I was 6. Now, that window was nailed shut with mouldy pieces of wood. The rose bushes that used to adorn the front lawn had long gone; in their place stood yellowed weeds as unappealing as a bum’s hair.
“Well, at least the stone carvings above the doors and windows are still unscathed. The enemy didn’t ruin them,” I observed.
Both of us chose not to talk about what the enemy did ruin: conscription tore families apart, often forever; farmlands generations had cultivated were torched by invaders in an hour; grand houses had fallen into disrepair, as their owners fled to escape the marauding army.
Mary lifted her head and gazed thoughtfully at something on the right. I immediately knew what she was thinking. That was where grandpa had hanged himself, from the chimney.
He’d rather die than leave his ancestral home. The elements had eroded the chimney so badly that its red bricks were now exposed.
On our journey back we walked in silence, each vowing never to revisit this physical reminder of that sad chapter in our family’s history.
Watch this interview for more information on my approach to teaching English writing: https://youtu.be/aQbAsMMHPd8
Michelle Ng
英國牛津大學畢業，前《蘋果日報》和《眾新聞》專欄作家，現在身在楓葉國，心繫中國大陸和香港。
聯絡方式： michelleng.coach@proton.me
個人網站： https://michellengwritings.com
🌟加入YouTube頻道會員支持《追新聞》運作🌟
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5l18oylJ8o7ihugk4F-3nw/join
《追新聞》無金主，只有您！為訂戶提供驚喜優惠，好讓大家支持本平台，再撐埋黃店。香港訂戶可分享給英國親友使用。
