前幾個月有幸收到一個邊上學邊接受嚴格舞蹈訓練的學生，之所以這對我來說是「有幸」，是因研究舞蹈是我的一大愛好，所以跟她第一天上課開始，我就知道我們會寫關於舞蹈的文章。果然，她很快就建議「Let’s write about dancing」，而我就一氣呵成地寫出以下一文。

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My students probably see me as someone for whom writing is easy because when I have to write in front of them, words and ideas seem to just pour out of me. What they don’t know is this impression is just an illusion. The truth is, I find writing so painful that to summon the ability to write on cue, I often have to resort to playing in my head what the great French ballerina Sylvie Guillem (參考連結：https://youtu.be/rzUL8SrW1vY) once said about how tough she finds dancing: “it is like banging yourself on the head until you don’t feel the pain any more.”

Guillem’s head-banging analogy can push me to face my terror of the blank screen because of all artistic endeavours, I see dancing as the most supreme – I myself settled for writing only because I didn’t have much dancing talent – and so whenever there’s an undertaking I can do that’s related to dance (no matter how remotely), I will have a ready desire to throw myself into it.

In my never-ending quest to craft the best sentences I’m capable of writing, for example, I like to remember Britain’s first world-class ballerina Margot Fonteyn’s remark about the sensation of performing on stage with the Russian legend Rudolf Nureyev: “I can still become fascinated if I catch sight out of the corner of my eye of the way Nureyev will place a foot on stage.” (參考連結：https://youtu.be/2ph5Ex1Tzgw) When I stumble upon a piece of writing I find fantastic and want to figure out how the writer achieved his or her effects, I only need to visualize my effort as detecting how the writer “places a foot on stage,” and somehow, I’ll be able to spot his or her tricks more easily.

Back in the days when I was a student at Oxford, the most searing experience took place not in its dreaming spires, but in a rehearsal room at the Royal Opera House in London. There, for the low admission fee of 10 pounds, I got to sit in the front row, watch dancers being coached several feet away from me, and be absolutely amazed by their happy outpouring of artistry. (參考連結：https://youtu.be/sE9Qn0L_zeE?t=1187) If I’m an OK writer today, I have to credit those magical moments at the coaching sessions when I felt so keenly the urge to develop some kind of talent of my own.

 

Michelle Ng

英國牛津大學畢業，前《蘋果日報》和《眾新聞》專欄作家，現在身在楓葉國，心繫中國大陸和香港。
聯絡方式： michelleng.coach@proton.me
個人網站： https://michellengwritings.com
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