我經常和跟我學Business English的成年學生說，香港政府已免費給我們提供很好的學習資源：
在以下案例，港府嘗試向《華盛頓郵報》和其讀者，
報道無罪 知情有價 請即訂閱《追新聞》：
https://www.patreon.com/thechasernews
港府版本：
“Those arrested on Jan. 6 are suspected to have committed the offense of subversion. They were suspected to have conspired to obtain 35 or more seats in the Legislative Council through their “35-plus” and “10-step mutual destruction plan,” and conducting “primaries” among themselves in July, with a view to recklessly and blindly vetoing the government budget and public funding applications, forcing the resignation of the chief executive. The plan aimed to paralyze the government and, coupled with massive riots and other measures, bring society to a complete standstill.”
My comments
The second sentence of the Hong Kong government’s text – 53 words in length – is difficult to follow, For one thing, the writer shouldn’t expect the readers of The Washington Post to have the background knowledge to understand “35-plus” and the “十步攬炒”. The move to translate 攬炒 as “mutual destruction” is particularly dubious, for it is likely to give western readers the impression that the opposition in Hong Kong had among them suicide bombers ready to die for their cause.
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My rewrite is much more reader-friendly because instead of referring to “35-plus” and the “10-step mutual destruction plan,” I simply presented the substance of those tactics in plain English.
My rewrite
“Those arrested on Jan. 6 on subversion charges are suspected to have conspired to seize a majority in the Legislative Council through improper means, with a view to paralyzing the government and bringing about the resignation of the chief executive. Had their scheme succeeded, they would also have taken control of the government’s purse strings, which would have enabled them to use taxpayer money to stage city-wide protests and other nefarious activities that would have brought society to a standstill.”
Michelle Ng
英國牛津大學畢業，前《蘋果日報》和《眾新聞》專欄作家，現在身在楓葉國，心繫中國大陸和香港。
聯絡方式： michelleng.coach@proton.me
個人網站： https://michellengwritings.com
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