「裸露！退！」

香港懲教署最近在一本印有意大利名畫《維納斯的誕生》的書寫上這個批示，並把書退回給想把書交給在囚人士的人。

作為英文寫作導師的我，經常體會到認識名畫的重要性。在外國，對名畫有一定認識，是受過良好教育的標誌，在文章裏引用名畫，可以達到寫中文用成語的效果，等於可以用shorthand跟人溝通。

我過往rewrite學生文章時，就曾引用《維納斯的誕生》，我的rewrite不但不淫穢，還能為原文增添意境：

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Student 

If you look on the outside of a shell, it is a work of beauty and art. Mesmerising patterns and twisting streaks, shells represent elegance and calmness. Crabs, lobsters and all kinds of crustaceans rely on these to survive. Shells serve as their homes, and they regularly switch shells。 So next time you look as these magnificent shells, remember that there may be species crawling inside

My rewrite

So accustomed I am to associating shells with beauty – think Boticelli’s golden-haired Venus perching on a scallop shell as she bursts forth from the sea – that I seldom remember they serve a practical purpose too. Just as most humans change their addresses several times over their lifetimes, crabs, lobsters and other kinds of crustaceans also “move house” by growing new shell coverings. The inert appearance of shells is therefore deceiving: inside is a hub of activity, a living creature busily keeping house, or just revelling in the joy of being

Michelle Ng

英國牛津大學畢業，前《蘋果日報》和《眾新聞》專欄作家，現在身在楓葉國，心繫中國大陸和香港。
聯絡方式： michelleng.coach@proton.me
個人網站： https://michellengwritings.com
逢周日英國時間晚上8時 / 周一香港時間凌晨3時刊出