Onward and Upward|A mundane comment now magically majestic

19世紀末,凡是到訪巴黎的文藝界人士,如果能獲邀參加法國詩人Stéphane Mallarmé(1842 – 1898)的沙龍,都會以此為榮。

一位來自英國的沙龍參加者這樣形容Mallarmé和客人互動的場面:「He will brush the dust off your own ideas, rearrange them a little, before giving them back to you, your mundane comment now magically majestic and luminous.」

雖然我只是一位英文寫作導師,但這不妨礙我嘗試用Mallarmé的方法啓發學生。我把學生的文字重構一下,然後交回學生,讓他們品嘗他們的版本和我的版本的微妙區別。以我的教學水平,縱使達不到洗滌心靈塵埃的效果,耳目一新的效果應能達到的。

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Below are my rewrites of student copies

Student

I’m a14 year-old studying at St Albans School. I first arrived in the UK four months ago. I am working hard on adapting to my new environment. My current school looks much more beautiful than my old one, though, so this is one thing to be grateful for.

My rewrite

Even though I’ve been attending St Albans School for four months already, every time the end-of-school bell rings and I walk out of campus, I still have difficulty getting used to the fact that I’m now treading the grounds of an institution that’s over 1000 years old, and that I can now boast I attend the same school as Stephen Hawking.

Student

Ruth’s Christ Steakhouse is one of my family’s favourite steakhouses to go to – just perfect for a relaxing afternoon, or an evening after a hard working day to reward yourself. Treat yourself to a sizzling, mouth watering, steak imported from the USA for the finest cuts of prime meat, served on a 500 degree plate with bubbling melted butter. The steak is special because they only use prime meat. Since less than 5% of all steaks are not considered “prime” they are scarce and in high demand. This makes their steak extraordinarily expensive

My rewrite

My idea of the perfect indulgence is to make a pilgrimage to Ruths’ Chris Steakhouse, in my view by far the best steakhouse in Hong Kong. Sure enough, the prices are quite staggering – dinner costs at least $1000 per person exclusive of wine – but its success in consistently living up to its mission of “Your last bite is just as good as your first” makes the eatery an ideal destination for special occasions. There’s nothing like feasting on a hefty portion of mouth-watering US-imported prime meat (meaning only the choicest 5% beef is on offer) that’s sizzling on a 500-degree plate in an aromatic pool of melted butter.

Student

A kind of cat that is in the danger of being extinct, the tiger doesn’t have nine lives. Even though tigers are as large as lions, they will probably be gone later this century. I hope the environment will improve because it would be a shame if such beautiful creatures no longer live on this earth.

My rewrite

When a Chinese herbalist came up with the formula for what would later be known as the Tiger Balm, he could not have foreseen that his pain relief ointment would be such a smashing success that a century later, it would be available even on the shelves of North America drugstores; neither could he have foreseen that the animal chosen to represent his concoction would go on to decrease in such numbers that it is not likely to outlive his ointment. Indeed, with only a few hundreds of big cats still roaming in the Southeast Asian forests today, the children of today’s school-aged kids will probably never lay eyes on a real tiger.

 

Michelle Ng

英國牛津大學畢業,前《蘋果日報》和《眾新聞》專欄作家,現在身在楓葉國,心繫中國大陸和香港。

聯絡方式: michelleng.coach@proton.me
個人網站: https://michellengwritings.com

逢周日英國時間晚上8時 / 周一香港時間凌晨4時刊出

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