「老師教落，英文信的開頭要寫“I hope this letter finds you well”；信的最後一段要以“To conclude” or “In conclusion” 開頭。」最近一個在香港就讀本地學校的學生跟我說。
我這樣回覆他：「你學校裏的老師這樣教你寫作，
在我看來，教學生寫信，最重要是要教他們如何 make letters personal，在內容上加插自己的觀點，
下面兩個 advice letter 版本，一篇按寫作程式寫，另一篇着重誠意和講人話，效果是不是完全不一樣？
Student
I hope this letter finds you well. In your letter to me, you stated how playing the violin has become too stressful. Here are some useful tips.
My rewrite
I admire your openness in sharing with me you’re secretly thinking of quitting violin. If our places were reversed – if you were the one who has won lots of music awards while I was the one wanting to give up – I doubt if I’d have the courage to turn to you for advice.
Student
You should set up a fixed time each day to practise. As we all know, practice makes perfect. Practising regularly will enable you to develop both familiarity with the music and the confidence to play it in front of others.
My rewrite
One way to will yourself to practise is to see the act as no different from brushing your teeth. When you wake up in the morning, you don’t ask yourself “should I brush my teeth?” So, when you go back home from school, you should practise right away, without hesitation. It was this mindset that enabled me to win my first inter-school violin competition, so I know it really works.
Student
Secondly, you should be patience. Rome was not built in one day. Without patience, we can’t do anything long enough to become good at it.
My rewrite
Another thing you need to remember is, we all have to learn how to not let failure defeat us.You and other classmates may only remember the trophies I’ve won, but I mostly remember the times when I didn’t win anything. I remember most of all the occasions when I was super nervous and stumbled through my performance; when I finished playing and had to stand up and take a bow, how I wished the ground would open and swallow me, so crippling was my sense of shame! But then, when the next day came, I could still summon up the drive to keep practising. If you want to succeed, you, too, have to take failure in stride.
Student
To conclude, if you follow my advice you will do better. Keep up your spirits!
My rewrite
Last year, when you played Greensleeves at the school’s Christmas concert, I was astonished by the unique interpretation you gave this familiar piece. If you follow my advice, I wouldn’t be surprised if, one day in the near future, we both enter the same competition, you end up winning the first prize while I get ranked second！
Michelle Ng
英國牛津大學畢業，前《蘋果日報》和《眾新聞》專欄作家，現在身在楓葉國，心繫中國大陸和香港。
聯絡方式： michelleng.coach@proton.me
個人網站： https://michellengwritings.com
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