It’s college application season – students aiming to enter university in the fall of 2025 only have till mid January to finish writing their personal statements – so I thought I should share what I think is one of the most important tips of all.
In “A Is for Admission: The Insider’s Guide to Getting into the Ivy League and Other Top Colleges”, Michele A. Hernandez, a former admissions officer at an Ivy League college, remembers a personal statement she rates as the best she has ever come across. The applicant took the unusual step of narrating an apparently minor incident from his past as a way to (in Hernandez’s words) “open a window into his personality.” He wrote about the time he hunted for the first time; he killed a squirrel, doing so with the quiet approval of his dad, a non-hunter more at home with books than with outdoor life. Later that day, his mother cooked the squirrel for him for dinner. As he recounted in his personal statement:
“She served an oily, slick portion of the squirrel to me for supper. I pulled the stringy meat from the bones as best I could. Everyone else ate spaghetti and meatballs. I could not finish my serving. After supper, I felt tired and fell into a deep sleep. I woke up close to midnight and cried out. My grandmother rushed into my room and my parents came in soon after, just in time to see me vomit. My father walked me outside to get some air. I heaved and sobbed for what seemed a very long time. I think it was guilt that I was trying to expel from my body. My father put his arm around my shoulders and held me close to his side. I was a hunter for one day and on that day I had killed a squirrel. That day was also the last time I held a gun in my hands. Dad did not say anything that night, but he understood. I, too, am a gentle man.”
The applicant’s account of his hunt and its aftermath immediately impressed Hernandez and her colleagues. It helped him “stand out from the crowd”; “He was the only one,” Hernandez notes, “who had this particular experience, and he made it work for him, while at the same time showing his character and individuality.”
As a writing coach, I’ve seen far too many students take the safe path when writing their personal statements, opting for the conventional strategy of squeezing in as much information about their academics and extracurriculars as possible – not a necessary step anyway, since they’ve already relayed the same information when filling in the application form. In reality, the personal statement should be written in a manner that can allow the admissions staff to, to quote former Oxbridge Admissions Tutor Barry Webb, see an applicant’s “creative and logical thought, outside of what they’ve been taught in school.” Admissions officers often have to “make a judgement between those with equal grades who on paper look as good as each other”; to get to know the person behind the grades, they can only lean on personal statements (in addition to references), meaning the personal statement is an applicant’s only shot at opening a window into his or her personality.
For students racing to complete their personal statements for Fall 2025 admission, in addition to Hernandez’s book, I’d recommend consulting Cal Newport’s “How to Be a High School Superstar: A Revolutionary Plan to Get into College by Standing Out” and “So You Want to Go to Oxbridge?” by Oxbridge Applications. They may also find useful a much more humble piece written by yours truly (my only credential being I did manage to get into Oxford by submitting a highly original piece of writing).
Michelle Ng
英國牛津大學畢業，前《蘋果日報》和《眾新聞》專欄作家，現在身在楓葉國，心繫中國大陸和香港。
聯絡方式： michelleng.coach@proton.me
個人網站： https://michellengwritings.com
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