YouTube 頻道 CanMen最近為了探討移加港人如何在加拿大成功搵工，採訪了住了加拿大多年的港人Andrew（ 30:00開始講找工作時應採用的表達方式）。Andrew指出香港新移民在加拿大見工的一個通病：以為查字典，用深的字眼，就更能證明自己的能力。但其實，表達方式用“simple English, 直接, direct, 短, concise, 就夠”，這樣才能“讓對方很簡單就聽到你想說的”。
我個人猜測，香港人之所以以為跟西方人溝通，用深的英文詞彙更能impress對方，是因這是香港本地學校多年來教英文的方法。我之前已吐槽過香港考評局對“好英文”的定義是如何不足。聽了Andrew的觀點後，我更具體看到過時的教學方法對學生的長遠影響。如果有一天，學生要在跨國企業工作，或到外國工作，只要他們還迷信DSE English所推崇的那一套寫作方法，西方僱主客戶和同事，會搞不懂，為甚麼這些來自香港的人的英文佈滿深字，而且那些用字很clumsy，妨礙外人了解他們的意思。
下面這個introductory paragraph來自在DSE English 拿到5**（最高級別）的文章，它不單冗長，還佈滿不必要的深字（我用粗體字把它們highlight出來）。再下面是我的rewrite，字數只有原文的一半，沒用一個深字，但卻更能達到 “直接, direct, 短, concise”的效果。
Question
Your school magazine is going to include a special feature on mental health. Recently, one of your friends was suffering from depression. Write an article for the school magazine about your friend’s depression and how he/she overcame it. Give advice to others on how to help fight depression.
DSE 5** copy (208 words)
There is only one thing more staggering than Hong Kong’s mind-blowing economic metamorphosis in the past few years, and it is the still widespread ignorance about the problem of depression. It is an omnipresent phenomenon that people in Hong Kong suffer from depression, not to mention that the number of people suffering from it has been exponentially increasing. Probably one of the contributory factors to this deplorable trend is the exorbitantly fast pace of life of Hong Kong residents given that Hong Kong is an international metropolitan city. However, under no circumstances should we overlook the fact that the relatively low awareness about maintaining mental health among people further aggravates the problem. After much deliberation in the long run, it is my firm conviction that comprehensive strategies should be put forward in order to tackle the thorny problem as it will undeniably bring a myriad of far-reaching impacts to the community ranging from residents having declining quality of life to enterprises suffering from shrinking workforce and diminishing productivity if we let the problem become a vicious circle by looking on with folded arms. In this article, I will give three pieces of advice to all of you on how to fight depression and share my friend’s experience.
My rewrite (107 words)
On the surface, our generation seems the luckiest. Just ask our grandparents. They may tell us, “when I was your age, I helped my parents out financially by hand-making plastic flowers.” To be sure, not only are we not required to moonlight as child labourers; after school, many of us have the privilege of attending a wide variety of classes, from K-pop dancing to horseback riding to robots making. But are we happier?
Judging from the student suicide statistics in Hong Kong – last year, death from suicide in the 6-17 age group almost tripled compared to a decade ago – the answer seems to be no.
Michelle Ng
英國牛津大學畢業，前《蘋果日報》和《眾新聞》專欄作家，現在身在楓葉國，心繫中國大陸和香港。
聯絡方式： michelleng.coach@proton.me
個人網站： https://michellengwritings.com
🌟加入YouTube頻道會員支持《追新聞》運作🌟
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5l18oylJ8o7ihugk4F-3nw/join
《追新聞》無金主，只有您！為訂戶提供驚喜優惠，好讓大家支持本平台，再撐埋黃店。香港訂戶可分享給英國親友使用。
