Onward and Upward|通過 plot twist 在 GCSE拿高分

“I believe a significant addition I added…was a humorous plot twist at the end,” 一個在GCSE English writing部分拿到滿分的英國學生,在學習交流平台The Student Room這樣分享他的讀書心得

Plot twist 的確是很好的寫作工具,因很多時候,學生只注重 be descriptive, 以為similes and alliteration 等修辭用得越多越好,卻不注重構思故事情節。如果學生知道故事尾部要來個Plot twist,在故事構思上自然也會多下功夫,而不是一味沒目標地 be descriptive 下去。

下面兩個故事充分演示(1)過度用修辭的效果和(2) plot twist如何能為故事增添色彩。

Look at the image provided. Write about a time when the weather was memorable

”Descriptive” version

The horrible howling of the rain was so deadly deafening that my ear drums felt they were bursting. The bitter blowing of the wind made moving forward felt like wading through thick mud. In addition, half the city was hidden by thick flog. I was filled with frustration and hopelessness.

Still, I had to move forward, for piles of files were waiting for me at my office desk. Giving up wasn’t an option. Yet, each step was so hard. My breath was being taken away.

The wind was howling even stronger now. I wanted to give up. Each step felt as heavy as a dumbbell. I heaved with pain and panted like a dejected dog.

As I continued moving through the thick fog, I was sweating like rain. Thinking of work, I pushed myself forward. Each step felt even heavier.

When I finally reached the office, I was as exhausted as a pitiful prey that had been cruelly chased.

 

“Plot twist” version

I hate Mondays, but this Monday was even more hateful than the rest.

Before bedtime last night, the weather forecast app on my phone had already alerted me of an upcoming rainstorm, but only when I stepped out of my house did I realize what I was up against: gusts of wind too relentless for my trusty umbrella, fog too thick for me to see beyond 10 feet, road surface too slippery for my leather-soled shoes.

To compound my Monday blues, today was the day when I had to make a presentation to a client who could make or break this year’s sales target. Even though I had put on my best suit and tie, I would be arriving at their office looking like a Ken doll that had been battered against the wall by a nasty three-year-old.

My normally sturdy umbrella was now offering me so little coverage that even the hair in my nostrils was soaked. Not that I could tell how much the wet insides of my nose was really due to the rain, as the 3 degree celsius weather must have also caused my nose to run.

I finally arrived at the client’s office. I felt instant relief when I saw the manager – he must have reached his workplace only a little ahead of me, for he didn’t have time to tidy up himself and looked like a battered Ken doll too.

 

Watch this interview for more information on my approach to teaching English writing: https://youtu.be/aQbAsMMHPd8

 

Michelle Ng

英國牛津大學畢業,前《蘋果日報》和《眾新聞》專欄作家,現在身在楓葉國,心繫中國大陸和香港。
聯絡方式: michelleng.coach@proton.me
個人網站: https://michellengwritings.com


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