
不少移民到英國的香港學生,難以掌握寫 stories 的技巧,因香港的英文教育比較注重實用文而不是故事。以下面這個 story writing sample 為例,連 the “Five Ws” (Who, What, When, Where, and Why) 都缺,遇到這樣的學生,應如何啟發?
I love playing Adopt me. One day, someone ask me to trade my dragon with her. I said “yes.” She said “Thanks.” I thought she gave me a good offer.
我在思考如何 rewrite 這個 writing sample 時,想到我曾從一位女性朋友聽到這樣一個真實故事:一個有一定經濟基礎的三四十歲女人,被一個看似挺成功的男人追求,他送她一層幾百萬位於日本的房子給她作為訂婚禮物。結果,婚後不久,他就問她借錢,金額比那層樓還要高,導致她懷疑,他當初送層樓給她,就是為了以後能圈她的錢,而那層樓他本來就不看重,因樓價很久也沒升。
我靈機一動,把這個故事融入到我的 rewrite 裏,這樣就能演示給學生看,寫故事時,有”Five Ws” 和沒 “ Five Ws”的區別。
My rewrite
Today, I finally did it. Not that I had any other option. Just yesterday, I received a call from the bank stating in no uncertain terms that if I continued to ignore my debt payments, they would send thugs to rough me up.
So, I gathered the courage to ask Mary to lend me $8 million.
As expected, she was shocked. Shocked because she had no idea I owed so much money. Shocked because I had kept this secret from her for so long. Most of all, she was shocked because she now understood why I had given her an apartment worth $5 million as a wedding present. She could now see I had done so not out of generosity, but in the hope that the goodwill this gift generated would make her feel obligated to help me out financially in the future.
She didn’t give me a yes or no answer. “I need time to think about it,” she said. I fumed inwardly. A few months ago, I took a peek at her screen when she logged into her bank account, and caught sight of the size of her savings – 12 million. So, she could easily have helped me now but was choosing not to.
Since her “I need time to think about it,” I‘ve been giving her the silent treatment.
How I miss the long gone days when Mary and I were primary school classmates sitting right next to each other in class, when the only items we could and did exchange were Adopt Me pets, not apartments and cash!
所以我經常跟學生說,藝術來自生活,每當他們不知寫甚麼,要記住,過去接觸過的人和事,都可以成為靈感泉源。
Michelle Ng
英國牛津大學畢業,前《蘋果日報》和《眾新聞》專欄作家,現在身在楓葉國,心繫中國大陸和香港。
聯絡方式: michelleng.coach@proton.me
個人網站: https://michellengwritings.com
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