Onward and Upward|如何寫讓老師眼前一亮的informative essay

表面上,informative essay不像fictional story,不需要用想像力,只要把一堆facts講述清楚就可以了。但如果平鋪直敘地寫informative essay,要脫穎而出不容易。下面兩篇關於Swimming的informative essays,一篇有用想像力,一篇沒有,高下立見。


Swimming is a very beneficial sport. It exercises the whole body, is fun to do, and the wide availability of swimming pools in most urban areas means swimming is a relatively cheap activity to do. Whether you want to be a member of your school’s swimming team, or are happy to be simply dog paddling, you can enjoy swimming.

Most of all, we should all swim more because of the mental health advantages we can gain. A YouGov poll discovered that 492,000 British adults who swim no longer have to visit the mental doctor as often. Also, 490,000 can cut down on medication. Obviously, swimming is good for both the mind and body.

What are you waiting for? Jump into the nearby pool now.

My rewrite

There is an activity that President John F. Kennedy couldn’t live without that is also accessible to you and me.

It is swimming. He swam to relieve his back of its shooting pain. And he was far from the only member of the rich and famous to boost his physical well-being by taking a dip in the pool. Pamela Harriman, the perpetually well-groomed US Ambassador to France, was so determined to make swimming her fitness regime that she mastered the art of doing her laps without letting even a drop of water mess up her carefully coiffed hair.

Today’s scientific findings on swimming and mental wellness can explain why it became JFK’s and Harriman’s workout of choice. According to a YouGov poll, close to half a million British adults with mental issues who swim experience a reduced need for medications and therapist visits. Swimming is an antidepressant you can get your hands on without a doctor’s prescription.

In case you’re wondering how you’re going to find the time to swim regularly, keep in mind that even when Obama was the president of the world’s most powerful country, he was able spend 45 minutes at the gym, six days a week. If he’s not too busy to exercise, you probably aren’t either.

Michelle Ng

聯絡方式: michelleng.coach@proton.me
個人網站: https://michellengwritings.com
逢周日英國時間晚上8時 / 周一香港時間凌晨4時刊出




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