過去一年，通過教授英文寫作，我幫助一些移民到英國的香港學生適應英國的學習生活。

說到適應英國的教育方式，我自己也是過來人，我在女拔萃讀中小學，Bachelor degree在港大讀法律，我在這兩個學校，跟英文或寫作有關的科都考過第一，按理說英文應該不錯，但到了英國牛津讀masters後，衡量我的是完全另一個標準。我在港大寫論文，所有教授都說好，沒人指出我的錯，所以我一直以為自己挺厲害。但在牛津，隨便一個教授拿起我的文章，都能即時邊看邊講出它的瑕疵，而且文章被他們這樣批評後，我會很驚訝，他們指出的問題其實很明顯，為什麼港大的教授和我自己沒看出來？所以，無論是寫作還是思維方式上的長進，到了英國才真正開始。

報道無罪　知情有價　請即訂閱《追新聞》：
https://www.patreon.com/thechasernews

我的學生當中，也有還留在香港讀本地學校的孩子，包括讀女拔萃的。有趣的是，我接觸他們，好像重新回到我中學時期的英文班，因他們現在學的，跟我以前學的差不多。港式的英文寫作教學，注重grammar要正確，注重用的vocab要深，注重寫的字數要多，但不注重措辭是否優美、見解是否獨到、風格是否鮮明。本地學校教的其實不是寫作，而是writing formula application，按five paragraph format寫就可以了，所以學生寫出來的文章千篇一律，像麥當勞規模化出產的漢堡包。

下面兩段DSE English考生寫introductions，來自香港考評局網站（https://www.hkeaa.edu.hk/DocLibrary/HKDSE/subject_information/eng_lang/2022-Sample-ENG-Paper2.pdf），考評局認為這兩個考生寫的文章為Level 5的典範，所以在網站公佈，方便以後想考到Level 5的學生參考。

這兩個考生，一個寫advice letter給想辭職創業的人，另一個給報紙寫opinion piece，嘗試說服讀者，年輕人對傳統手藝還是感興趣的。雖然兩篇文章的對象很不一樣，但兩個考生用的格式一樣（用”I am writing in response to”開頭，用”I would like to”結尾），語調也一樣，兩篇Introductions簡直像同一個人寫的。如果只按固定formula去練習寫作，練習千百遍也不會學到新東西，但如果朝我rewrite的方向去練習，文筆和思維都會不斷進步。

Exam candidate 1

I am writing in respond to your hesitation on whether you should pursuit your dream or not. I can truly understand your frustration and I have encountered similar circumstance before. I really appreciate your courage and passion on pursuing your dream, yet I believe that it will be better if you can wait for a few more years. As the owner of Crafty Today, a company that sells handmade craft, I would like to share my personal experience and offer some advice.

My rewrite
The only thing that is left of Craft Today, my now-defunct online craft company, is a tall stack of outstanding bills to my suppliers. It is an experience I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
Read on to avoid repeating my mistake

Exam candidate 2

Dear Editor,
I am writing in response to the comment of the lack of interest of young people in traditional art forms. Due to this comment, a heat has thus been sparked off. Some people appear to say traditional art is out-dated, while some people argue government should do something to preserve traditional arts. As the chairperson of the school’s Heritage Club, I would like to take a closer look at the issue.

My rewrite（這個rewrite引用了Mark Twain的名言”The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated”）
Your story dated 27 Aug in which you lamented the dwindling interest among the young in the traditional arts reminded me of Mark Twain’s reaction when he came across his obituary in the papers. As a 16 year-old whose traditional basket-weaving course at school is always over subscribed – I volunteer to teach the class in my capacity as the chairlady of my school’s Heritage Club – I can assure you that your report of the death of time-honored artisan skills are greatly exaggerated.

前幾天，我跟吳明德教授分享我如何看待港式與英式的英文寫作教學，有興趣可以看看。